Whatever it takes, I'm here
by silentfyre
Summary: Anya helps Marcus begin to come to terms with his losses.


**Just a short story, Anya gives Marcus some much needed comfort. Based a month after Gears of War 3**

* * *

"_Its been a month. A month since the war ended. A month since the locust and lambent were wiped out. A month since we lost Dom and Adam. I know it's only a month, but I thought that he would be at least a little better by now. But all he does is work. We've all been working hard this last month but he never even takes a break. Everyday is the same. He's not even showing any emotion. No anger no sadness nothing. Which means he's bottling it all up, and that's never a good thing."_

Anya thought of Marcus as she looked out at the ocean. She'd been worried about him for a while now. All he seemed to do was work and sleep. She wasn't convinced he was even sleeping properly. She just wished he would open up to her about how he was feeling. But he was never very good at that. It just wasn't healthy. She decided to come down and sit by the ocean to be alone, so she could think. It was really starting to get to her and she felt like she'd tried everything. She looked out at the ocean remembering being here a month ago, sitting with Marcus telling him that they finally had a tomorrow. But Marcus seemed the same now as he was that day. Maybe she just needed to give him more time. But she was finding it hard to carry on like this. She buried her head in her hands and just let her emotions get the best with her has she began to cry. Another reason she wanted to be alone. She certainly didn't want Marcus to see her like this. She had to be strong for him. She was so lost in her thoughts and emotions she didn't even notice the footsteps behind her.

"Are you ok there?" a voice said

She realised it was Bernie. Embarrassed she quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and face.

"Bernie, you startled me"

"Sorry. I thought that was you out here. You ok? What you doing out here so late?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just needed some fresh air that's all"

She wasn't fooling Bernie at all.

"Anya, I've been around long enough to know when a woman's been crying"

Anya didn't even bother trying to hide the fact.

"That obvious huh?"

Bernie sat down next to her putting a hand on her shoulder.

"What's wrong sweetheart"

Anya let out a long sigh.

"It's Marcus"

Bernie nodded, like she understood.

"I know it's only been a month" She carried on. "But I thought he'd be in a better place by now"

"Give it time" Bernie said.

"I know it will take time. But he hasn't shown any emotion at all. No sadness, no anger. Nothing"

"Well, maybe he has, just not in front of anyone."

"Maybe. But he can be like that in front of me. I've told him that"

"I've known Marcus a long time Anya. I've only seen him cry once. When Carlos died all those years ago"

"Really? He never told me that"

"I'm his superior and I'm older. Maybe he just doesn't want to appear week in front of you"

"Maybe. But he needs to grieve, he needs to let something out. If he keeps bottling it up, someone's gonna end up on the receiving end"

"Well, lets just hope it's Baird" Bernie said jokingly.

Anya laughed, despite the fact she still had tears in her eyes.

"I need to talk to him don't I"

"I think you do Anya"

"I have tried you know"

"I know you have. I know he must be hard work. You know, he blames him self for all the people he's lost. Vic does the same you know"

"I guess we all do to a certain degree. With Marcus though, losing Dom and his Dad, was the last straw. Now he's just an empty shell of him self. I guess I don't know how to deal with that. I've tried to be there for him"

"And I'm sure he appreciates that. Even if he doesn't show it. I know how much you love him. You just need to keep being there for him and things will eventually get better"

"I hope you're right Bernie. I hope you're right"

When Anya got back to her room, Marcus was laying on the bed, awake, hands behind his head and staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Your back" She said,

"Yeah. Where have you been?"

"Oh, I just went to get some air. How long have you been back?" She asked.

"About half an hour"

"You were up at the crack of dawn, you sure your not working too hard"

"Works gotta be done Anya"

"Well, I hope you took breaks"

Marcus just sighed. She knew that sigh, it was a, get of my back, kinda sigh.

"I'm just saying, you should relax once in a while"

"I'm relaxing now ain't I?"

This is how it usually went with Marcus these days. There didn't really share much conversation. Anya thought it was about time that changed.

"Marcus. How are you doing. You know after everything . . "

"I'm fine Anya" Marcus snapped without meaning to. "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap"

"You say your fine Marcus but, you spend most of your hours working or sleeping. You barely talk to anyone and you haven't even been eating properly. So don't tell me you're fine"

Marcus said nothing. He just continued to stare at the ceiling.

"Sorry. Look, I don't expect you to be fine. No one does. But you need to talk about it . ."

"There's nothing to talk about. I lost them. I couldn't save Dom and I couldn't save my Father, and there's nothing else to talk about ok"

"Well, you need to grieve at least Marcus. This isn't healthy. Tell me how you're feeling. Are you sad? Angry?"

"I'm, nothing Anya ok. Just nothing"

"Well, I don't believe that. If that was the case we wouldn't be having this conversation. You're bottling up your emotions and that's never good. I meant what I said that I'm here, whatever it takes"

Marcus did appreciate Anya trying to help. But everyday was getting harder not easier. He knew she was right though and it was about time he was honest with her.

"Anya. Do you know why I've been this way for a month now? It's the only way I've been holding it together. I fill my days with work and sleep because if I think about it for to long, I just know I'm gonna break down"

"But Marcus, that's not a bad thing. Maybe you need to break down. Let some of that emotion out and you may even feel better for it"

"Or sink into an endless depression"

"Gotta be better than this" she said.

Marcus didn't want to break down, not in front of Anya. But everyday he was closer to doing so. Anya knew he needed to but didn't know what to do, she couldn't force him. She needed him to vent but how no idea how to do that. Anya didn't realise just how close he was to the edge though.

He sat up and put his head in his hands. Anya sat down next to him on the bed, putting an arm around him. Maybe it was him finaly feeling comfortable in front of her. Maybe it was the conversation they'd just had. Or maybe everything finaly came crashing down. She felt his shoulders start to shake. He kept his face buried in his hands but she definitely heard a sob. As much as she knew he needed this, it hurt to see someone she loved so much, cry. She'd never seen him cry before. She wasn't expecting this, but she knew she just had to be there for him. She decided not to say anything, she just gently rubbed his back soothingly. He removed his face from his hands and buried it in her shoulder. She put both her arms around him.

"It's ok Marcus, this is good"

In a strange way, it did feel good letting out all of his emotions out. It was like a huge weight had been lifted of his shoulders. Watching him sob his heart out almost brought a tears to her eyes, but she didn't let it, she knew she had to stay strong for him. It didn't last that long, a few minutes maybe, but she knew it was step in the right direction for him. He slowly calmed down, his tears lessening. He lifted his head to look at her. He wiped his the tears of his face, feeling a little embarrassed for crying in front of her.

"Sorry" he said softly.

"It's ok there's no need to be sorry Marcus. Sounds like you really needed that"

"I did. Thank you Anya. I do feel a little better. I mean it will take more time to feel, normal again"

"I think that goes for all of us" She replied, suddenly realising how late it was. She let out a yawn.

"Tired?"

Anya nodded.

"It's ok if you wanna go to bed Anya. I'll be ok"

"You sure?"

"Yes. Get some sleep. Work to do in the morning"

Anya got up to go to the bathroom and get ready for bed. Marcus laid back down on the bed. She wasn't gone long, but when she came back, he was fast asleep. Anya knew that because he was snoring. She hadn't heard him snore in a while so she was happy to see him sleeping. She smiled as he looked so peaceful. She was happy that she'd helped him tonight. It would still take him time to come to terms with what he'd lost, but at least he was a little bit closer. Anya laid next to him, careful not to wake him. She watched him sleep until she finally couldn't keep her eyes open any longer.


End file.
